Here is my next post in my Bullying Prevention Month series. Please also read the others by clicking HERE.
When your child is being bullied at school, the school needs to be involved in detection, consequences to the bully, and prevention. Without the school helping with this, there is no way to stop the bullying without removing your child from school entirely. Learning how to get support from the school can help end bullying for your child and all children after.
- Teach Your Child How to Stand Up for Themselves – The very first thing you must do when your child reports to you that they’re being bullied is to teach them the way to stand up for themselves that works best for them without worrying about getting into trouble. Nothing they’re doing is causing the abuse, but being aware of their body language, raising their self-image, and giving them permission to tell on the bully or respond to the bully, can go far in helping curb bullying.
- Make an Appointment with Your Child’s Teacher – Now you want to make an appointment with your child’s teacher. This appointment should include you, your child (sometimes) and school counselors and administrators but not the child doing the bullying or their parents. It’s best if the school deals separately with them to protect your child from retribution.
- Bring Anti-Bullying Education with You – Sometimes due to lack of resources, school officials don’t have information about bullying at their fingertips. You can download information about bullying from various online sites, including anti-bullying sites created by the federal government.
- Stay Calm and Positive – Don’t go to the meeting angry and start yelling at people. While it’s tempting to do that when your child is being hurt, it’s not the best way to get the right response from the educators. In fact, they may start seeing you as a problem and not help at all. That isn’t a good thing so when you are talking to them, stay calm. It’s also important to stay calm and positive in front of your child.
- Be Persistent – It can sometimes be difficult to get the school to do anything about the bullying due to lack of time and funds. But, if you’re persistent and they know you’re going to follow up on everything they promise, they’re going to be more likely to stick to it and make the situation better.
- Contact the Superintendent – If the administration of your school isn’t doing enough after trying for some time (and keeping track of what you do), contact the superintendent and ask them to intervene. This usually is enough to get the laziest administration doing something.
- Contact the Law – If your child is in danger and has been physically attacked or threatened and calls to the school have only resulted in making it worse, or nothing getting better, report it to the police. Sometimes it can help to contact a lawyer to send a letter to the school but the police, if called, must do an investigation which more than likely your school system doesn’t want to happen.
- Start an Anti-Bullying Program via Your Parent–Teacher Organization – Schools are notoriously low in funds, and staff. It can be hard for them to do a good anti-bullying program. But, with the help of your teacher organization and you, the school may happily allow you to take over that job which can do wonders for all the kids at your school.
Getting support from the school to deal with bullying is essential to stopping it. If you don’t get that support, it can be hard or even impossible to really make a change.
Don’t give up, though, and don’t let anger drive you. Let the desire to stop bullying for your child and others guide you by making you an example of anti-bullying.
Bullying is so hard as a parent to go through with your child. What parent wouldn’t want to “take someone out’? lol. You made some good and valid points.
It’s so sad that children can be so mean sometimes and so important to do something about it!
This is good information, and I’m glad you bring up the reality of what to do when the school isn’t doing what they are supposed to. Our town just settled a large court case where teachers did not stop kids from bullying a student, the court case went on for four years, and in the end, the parents won. It was surprising it happened in our school system, because we pay huge taxes for the education component, and hire the best – so don’t assume just because of that it can’t happen. Also a woman teacher got fired for molesting a boy this past year. Kids do need your help from learning how to deal with bullies to getting the intervention, no matter how far up the chain you need to go, or even a lawsuit.
Bullying has got to stop. It has ruined so many peoples lives. I think these are some great suggestions. We should all be helping to put a stop to this. Thank you so much for sharing
Bullying sucks, so sad it’s so prevalent in schools still. I hope it improves in the future.
Bullying scares me so bad. My son will starr school next fall. He lets people run all over him. The meaner they arr to him the more he tries to get them to play with him. I see myself trying these once he starts school.
These are all good tips. It boggles my mind that there are schools out there that think bullying can just be ignored or they just pay lip service to trying to stop it but do nothing.
I wish all these bullied kids would take self defense
All these bullied kids should take self defense
This scares me I hate it
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As someone who was bullied in elementary school and high school and then in the workplace its such an important topic to teach children.