I resolve…….

As 2011 winds down and we look, with eager anticipation, to the start of a new year, these are 10 items I resolve NOT to do……….

1.  I resolve not to sign up at a gym; I’ll rather save that money for some other equally pointless endeavor.
2. I resolve NOT to win the lottery; I am hoping that this works as well as resolving to actually win the lottery has.
3. I resolve to not attempt to control my stress level.  Making this resolution in past years has only caused a greater level of stress in my life as I realize how miserably I fail at it.  I am content with the fact that I am a high stress individual.
4. I resolve to not take my bicycle down from the rafters in the garage in the summer; chances are I won’t use it anyways.
5. I resolve not to read books.  Let’s just face it, I don’t like reading for entertainment.  Actually reading for entertainment is sort of like an oxymoron as far as I’m concerned.
6. I resolve not to reply to that Nigerian fellow anymore, he never follows through with the millions he’s supposed to send anyways.
7. I resolve not to organize things in my house; again (as in #2) I am hopeful that my success at this will be as equally successful as my decision to actually organize my crap in years past.
8. I resolve not to control my ADD.  Bright shiny objects are awesome.
9. I resolve to no longer plot how to take over the world; Pinky and the Brain have been trying for years with no real success.
10. Lastly, I resolve not to buy new gadgets when they come to the store (AKA Best Buy).  The pile I already have collecting dust is more than sufficient for one person, or a few people!!