negativity……..I have no place for it!!

Well for a long portion of my roughly, almost, sorta 31 years of existence, I was a rather negative person……..I surely tried to not be, well who am I kidding?? I didn’t try that hard, I’d tell myself I was and it’d go back to the same old same old within a couple of days!!
However as of roughly a year ago I made the full-out attempt to keep negativity out of my life.  The straight up truth is that we are in charge of our own destiny and if I wanted happiness I had to be the master of that happiness!!  I couldn’t continue to allow everything around me to bring me down and constantly feel as if it wasn’t my fault!!  Granted not everything that goes wrong in life is your own fault, but one has to own the issues in their lives that they are responsible for!!!

There were certain aspects of my life that I had controlled my thoughts and feelings over, such as the cold, extremely shit weather in this state…..I never saw the point to whining and bitching about it, when I was done the weather would still suck and I’d be more miserable than when I started, also I have had to wrap my mind around how much I miss my family and missing out on getting to see the kids grow up etc.  Don’t get me wrong I have bad days, but I allow myself to have that one bad day now and then and I then pick myself up, dust myself off and keep going.  Knowing I am living here for the right reasons keeps me going.

Now back to my current revelation……banning negativity in my life!!  I wanted to be happier and focus on what would keep me happy.  Keep people and things around me that would help make my life progress forward in a positive manner!!
If you look up negative in the Webster dictionary (or online at www.merriam-webster.com) you get multiple definitions…….obviously as the word has so many meanings but the most useful to this blog are below;
a : lacking positive qualities;
b : marked by features of hostility, withdrawal, or pessimism that hinder or oppose constructive treatment or development.
I was allowing my negativity to hinder my life and I was definitely lacking positive qualities!!  Therefore I came to the realization that I HAD to change.  However…changing the way one has lived for the majority of their life is extremely difficult and definitely NOT done overnight.  I knew though that this had to happen, I had to make this change in order to start truly enjoying life, truly love life and to fully enjoy all it is I have achieved and learn from the mistakes I’ve made and use that learning to grow and become a better human being!!

So I made the decision and I stuck by it…..even when it’s hard I keep on going…..look for the good in everything that happens, even though sometimes finding it is HARD, I still don’t let the things that don’t go according to plan get me down!!  I give everything I do 200% and I take from it all that I possibly can!!
Let me tell you waking up these days is a lot easier….realizing I wake up next to an amazing women every day,  I have two puppies who love me unconditionally, I have a job that is absolutely amazing, a manager who’s ‘human’ and takes a personal interest in his employees lives, I get to play hockey as much as I want to, I’ve been lucky enough to move up and onward with my officiating career and most importantly I have an absolutely amazing family!!! Sure we have our quirks and extreme distance between us but when ‘shit hits the fan’ we’re there for each other in any way possible!!

Most recently I was faced with an extremely ‘trying challenge’ in Iceland……I went into this tournament honestly feeling we could medal and after all these years I could finally get the world championship medal I’d worked so hard for!!  I spent the better part of a year preparing for the tournament, hours and hours on the ice, hours upon hours in the gym….weights, running etc etc!!  As anyone who’s read my blog knows things didn’t go according to plan!!  BUT I still continued giving my 200% no actually 300% to each and every game, each and every team gathering, sorting thru each and every issue we faced as a team……I tried my damnedest to keep not only myself positive but, as assistant captain, the team positive as well!!  If I was able to do that for the entire team I guess I’ll never know….but as for me I kept myself going!! Sure I was disappointed and at times upset, however I am still proud of my contribution to the team, to the country and to everyone who supported me getting to where I was!!  I realize that there are not a lot of people who can say they’ve participated in 8 world championships, traveled all over Europe playing the sport they love and if I never get a medal I know I’ll have a lifetime of memories and a group of teammates who are honestly like family to me!! Knowing this…..well that’s enough for me and as I see it nothing to hang my head about!!

So with all this said…….I hope that others can do what I’ve done and focus on the positive and see how much happier you are when you do this!! Of course I in no way, shape or form proclaim to have all the answers to life and it’s challenges, hell I am no expert.  I am just trying to find the happiness we all deserve in life and if I can share that with someone out there then this would be a successful blog post!!